Have you ever noticed that Rolls Royce and Bentley’s don’t have commercials? Reason: They know the value of their products that bring customers to them. Lesson: When you know your worth, you don’t have to beg people to like you, to spend time with you or to love you.
The importance of being confident in whom you are and accepting that not everyone can afford the luxury of you is KEY. In other words, know your worth.
You may be thinking, yeah, in theory, this all appears great while reading on a screen but it’s much more difficult to implement in your own life.
But stay with me on this…
I know it can be hard at times to take this advice into consideration when struggling with facial paralysis.
Let’s be real: The thought of dating can be horrifying at times. Somedays you may feel like you can take on any situation confidently and other days, you feel so low about your appearance that being able to recognize your self-worth seems incapable.
Unfortunately, we live in a society today where we are always comparing our outer appearance to those that we view on social media. It’s a shame that we naturally value our worth based on appearances. Although it’s human nature to measure ourselves against others, we shouldn’t subjugate our self-worth.
I personally still go through times where I avoid dating altogether. But I’m human, and like any human on this planet, I struggle with insecurities (unless you are a narcissist than that’s a whole different story).
The bottom line is: Having facial paralysis shouldn’t make you feel less than any person you date nor should it feel like a burden on others. Your FP is a unique quality that should be easily accepted. More importantly, it should be a quality that should be approved by YOU.
When it comes to dating, I’m NO expert. However, over the last few years, I’ve learned a thing or two about dating while having FP 🙂
Instead of regretting going on dates, I finally pushed myself into the dating scene regardless of how horrific the whole aspect may have appeared to be initially.
So how did I finally set my insecurities aside and enter the dating world? I practiced showing confidence.
And this doesn’t exactly mean that I felt the level of confidence that I was emulating into the dating world…
By practicing the act of showing confidence, I allowed my mind to believe me. Demonstrating a certain type of confidence, doesn’t mean not being yourself or showing any type of cockiness…
However, it’s very true that your mind only believes what you tell it. So when I told my mind I was confident, I was able to gain the confidence in the execution. And trust me, people feel confidence in you through your presence.
Even if I felt extremely nervous or constant doubt while I was getting ready for a new date, I would remind myself that I was MY biggest critic. And that inner critic is only right if I allow it to be.
So instead of accepting the delusional negative thoughts my mind would feed me as to what the person was thinking across the table, I disconnected from the outcome. Why? Because confidence is about putting the outcome aside.
The most important lesson that I learned throughout the years dating with facial paralysis is that that the only person in a dating situation who found my facial paralysis to be a problem was myself.
Recognizing that this was much more of my own insecurity issue, I was able to understand that dating wasn’t just about appearances let alone how I looked to the person I was seeing. In other words, dating wasn’t just about a superficial connection that was only skin deep.
It was much more about how comfortable I felt about myself while I was with that person and how they made me feel.
Not every dating situation is perfect, and they can be disastrous, but that’s part of the whole dating experience. Just remember never to date someone just to feel better about yourself or to simply feel “whole” as a person. Work on yourself and recognize the amazing qualities that you bring to the table before putting yourself out there.
When you feel ready to enter the dating scene, just always remember, it’s not always going to be smooth sailing. Like I said, not everyone can afford the luxury of you <3