Everyone has that sabotaging voice in their heads that utters discouraging words. This negative internal monologue convinces us to believe things that no one else would agree with but ourselves. Hearing these particular thoughts can be bothersome at best and demoralizing at worst.

Unfortunately, this inner critic pops up in all sorts of inconvenient moments: when we’re about to give an important presentation or meeting someone new for a date

And even more inconveniently, when you have a form of facial paralysis, these thoughts might be there to greet you when you glimpse at yourself in the mirror:

You’re so unattractive. Your face looks distorted. Why are you leaving the house looking like that? Just look at your crooked smile, asymmetrical eyebrows,” And the list of negative internal thoughts continues to unravel…

On a personal side note, the idea of trying to silence my inner FP critic during the initial years of my condition seemed inauthentic. In other words, I felt sorry for myself, so I felt some sort of justification in allowing my inner critic to take over.

Yes, feeling sorry for yourself is OK. I’m not trying to tell you that you should avoid your emotions or get a lobotomy… 

You are completely entitled to your feelings and should never suppress any emotions. Expressing your sadness, insecurities and disappointment can help diffuse the intensity of how you’re feeling. However, what is NOT ok is when it becomes a proverbial broken record…not knowing how to turn that inner voice off which will limit your potential and lessen your self-worth. 

Learning how to silence your inner FP critic is the most valuable skill you can ever acquire. It’s a skill that I still have to practice and struggle with every day. 

Here are some ways that have helped me turn the volume down on that unnecessary internal chatter:

Give yourself a deadline: Be mindful of when your feeling insecure and your inner critic is taking over. When this occurs, give yourself permission to feel those emotions but also set a deadline of how long you will feel sorry for yourself. Don’t stew in your emotional soup for too long. 

Change the Channel: The best way to change the channel is through distraction — find SOMETHING that will temporarily distract you from the negative tapes playing in your head. The worst thing to do is allow yourself to dive deep down into the trenches of your negative thoughts and get sucked in. 

Examine the evidence:  Your thoughts aren’t always true. In fact, they’re often not only very negative but exaggerated. It’s essential to examine the evidence before you believe your thoughts. This is something I struggle with to this day due to my anxiety. I’ve learned that when I’m having thoughts that could potentially be irrational, I’ll write them down and asses those notes later on. 


Don’t allow the negative thoughts control you. Change the channel or turn down the volume in order to achieve peace within YOURSELF. Insecurities don’t have to stop you, allow it to drive you. You are in charge. Thrive in the face of insecurity. LET IT FUEL YOU.

Xo, Cars





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6 comments

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Absolutely love this ??

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I seem to do fine getting ready for the day. I see my reflection in the mirror as I am putting on make up and doing my hair and am okay with what I see. I have adjusted to these imperfections from my facial paralysis. But during the day when I catch my reflection in a mirror, window or photograph, I pause and realize I don’t look the way I feel and become more aware of what other people see. It still always catches me by surprise. For me I focus on how much progress I have made and the person I am and not what I see at that moment.
I guess that’s why I love your blog so much! I have never been great with skincare or makeup and your suggestions have helped me focus on ways to feel better and more confident about my appearance. Thank you so much for that!
Your passion, beauty and understanding of emotions are so inspiring! ❤️

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I love this! Everyone has an inner critic. I think this is valuable for FP but also for anyone. Negative thoughts are a natural part of life but we have to learn to – like u said – write them down and evaluate how irrational we really are. Writing down those thoughts reveals how silly and wrapped up in things we can get sometimes. I also love the simple technique of having deadlines and distractions.

So relatable and beautiful! More posts like these!

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It’s easier today, more than ever, to let that inner critique consume our thoughts—especially with the presence of social media and availability of information. This post is relatable to so many of us and I love the idea of giving yourself the space to feel whatever emotions are present, but for a certain period of time, and then channeling these thoughts into something positive and productive. Thank you Cars for surfacing a topic so many people deal with on the day to day basis, and for empowering us with a platform to connect on it and work through it <3

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Thank you for sharing such great advice. I printed this post out and will reference it every time i’m having a day that I’m struggling with FP.

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Wonderful advice and very inspiring. ?

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